The official reason for Koscielny’s removal from the line-up against Villa last Saturday was that he was suffering from tendinitis in his knee, having woken up with the problem on Saturday morning. However, it appears there may be more to this story than meets the eye.
A source at the club, who wishes to remain anonymous, has revealed to us that the cause of the injury was very different, and has even provided us with photographic evidence. “Laurent can’t help himself,” we have been told, “he’s addicted.” It transpires that our resolute centre half is a bit of a Western buff, hence his favourite pastime:
“He’s remodelled his basement last summer. A few of the lads go over regularly, even Boro. But they can’t let the boss know, they’re afraid he’d ban the machine”. Apparently, however, Frimpong has been banned from using the machine since he spent an hour and 47 minutes on it last October without being thrown, and Koscielny had to get it serviced afterwards.
Things could get even more dangerous at the Koscielny ranch as it seems there are plans to build an indoor firing range so Laurent can loose off a few rounds with his collection of antique Colt revolvers. “He loves all of that stuff” our source told us, “that’s why he walks like a cowboy”.